Carpentry Class

I’ve started an adult carpentry class and I’ve been getting pretty good at it! I promised myself I’d learn a new skill in the new year, and I’m feeling good, doing well, I’m making friends, life is great.

My main homie from the class is called Twitchy Steeve. He leaves and rejoins the class every 4 weeks.

This past while we’ve been making chairs. Steeve’s is a little wobbly, he doesn’t have as much practice. Mine is something really special. It pulls itself out for you. Don’t know how I did that, but we don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

Now, the chair is still a little bare bones, as I’m still adding the finishing touches (fine sanding, deciding what color to stain it), but it’s incredibly comfortable. It’s like it was made for me.

I generously offered my boy Steeve to take it for a spin. He declined. Seemed pretty shaky when doing it, but we do call him Twitchy Steeve. That’s alright. No harm, no foul, more chair for me. Not like he would understand its refined appeal anyway, but it's fine!

I fixed myself a cup of coffee from the class coffee pot. (we up) I’m mid sip, feeling that caffeine touch my soul when I hear my beautiful chair drag on the polished concrete. I’m thinking Steeve changed his mind on my generous offer. However, when I turned, he was nowhere to be found…

Maybe I was doing too much. Maybe I scared him off again. Maybe Steeve only stepped out and I’m overthinking. 

Another day we all wanted to try a “one day build” so we all made our own tool caddies. My caddy was the nicest in the class. It's something really special. It takes you where you need to go.

My mans Twitchy Steeve is back again.

Nobody really gets why he keeps signing back up. I don’t understand why he keeps getting the first-timers discount, when he was here a few days ago. We all know it’s him, we see his face. I tried prying into why he left this time. He says he just moved into the area, but we all joke like old friends.

We’re all working on another project, when Steeve asks me for my pocket hole jig. I tell him to just grab it from my tool caddy. Steeve is slightly put off, so I grab it for him, and go back to working on my own shit. 

After measuring some things, I notice I don’t hear him drilling so I look towards where he should be and he’s gone again! Steeve is gone, and so is my jig!

3 days later, Steeve comes crawling back, and he doesn’t even have my jig with him. Claims he never had it.

I gave a lot of mercy to put up with Steeve’s odd antics, but now he owes me 20 bucks and he’s lying to me about it. What’s his fucking problem?!

scaryteacher.exe (free.99)

I used to be a huge Baldi's Basics fan as a kid when it first came out, and all the big youtubers were playing it. 

Well, I say I was a huge fan, but I never actually played it back then. Like many kids of the time, I was mostly just obsessed with watching people play it on YouTube, before I grew out of it lol. Apparently the full game came out ages ago, and I missed the drop being busy with school and all that.

Exam season just ended for me, and I decided to get back into it in the meantime. Just something to keep me from 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀ing out about whether I failed or not haha... 

Back at my dorm, I waited for my geriatric shitbox pc to warm up, so I can look up the game. I waited and waited while my computer made noises similar to when my grandad got pneumonia (rip grandad). My weed head roommate came home from his job before the computer even got to the log in screen so we started talking about fuck all. It was just when the convo started to turn towards my roommie claiming that I should try weed again and that I "haven't found the right strain" that the start-up chime blared from my stolen speaker. (If you can't tell, I'm broke). He quickly got shooed out of my side of the room so I can get to my main task of getting "back to basics" (haha). I typed " new baldi basics" into my search engine, then hit enter.

"10 DOLLARS?! That's 10 dollar's my broke ass could be eating with!"

"What the fuck are you yelling about?" My roommate asked from the other side of the room.

"This game I'm trying to play costs money. >:("

"My weedman sells pirated games on the side. He might have whatever you're looking for." 

Well, that's certainly weird. Do drug dealers commonly have side hustles? Shouldn't selling illicit substances should make enough money on it's own? Or at least selling weed would be the side hustle itself right? I brushed off all those dumb questions.

I asked my roommie to call up his weed dealer and ask him if he had the game, before I even went out to try and find him. When I finally got word that he did in fact have a copy of Baldi's on sale, I was told to meet him at the local Burger King.

boldtext.exe

I accidentally downloaded a virus onto my laptop, HELP!

All I wanted was to get those free smileys from the ad I saw watching anime, and now the text I write is randomly emboldened! The ad took me to a site called smilesfree4u.co. The whole webpage was full of those download buttons, all fitted together like a gallery wall. I wanted my smileys though, so I just hit one of them and the page redirected a few times. I caught one of the urls that flashed past me in the corner of my eye.

milfmania34.co.uk

I should have known my laptop was cooked...
During those redirects, a file downloaded to my desktop. Then the browser redirected back to what looked the og website, but had a slightly different url, smiles.4u.info. The download buttons were faded out like an ad vignette and there was big blue bolded impact font in size 120 pt font saying "Thank you for download". 

At this point I was a little nervous, but I shook it off. I wanted those smileys, and I've already come so far. 
I minimized my browser, Opera GX themed to look like Internet Explorer, and threw the newly downloaded zip file into a new folder. I figured it have be a bunch of image files that it pulls from when you sent a sticker online, so I put it away so it won't unzip all over my desktop. Now in the folder, I double-clicked smiles4u.zip, opening it in Win-RaR, and proceed to unzip it into the folder. There were only three files; smiley.vst, boldtext.exe and a readme. The first made sense, but what the hell is boldtext? I double-clicked the readme and read it.

   oo_  \\\    //wW  WwW  W   wWw  oo_         wWw    .-.  ()_()     wWw  wWw  .-.    wWw  wWw .--.  
  /  _)-((O)  (O)(O)(O(O)(O)  (O)_/  _)-<      (O)_ c(O_O)c(O o)     (O)  (O)c(O_O)c  (O)  (O)(O)(O) 
  \__ `. | \  / | (..)  ||    / __\__ `.       / __,'.---.`,|^_\     ( \  / ,'.---.`, / )  ( \| o /  
     `. |||\\//||  ||   | \  / (     `. |     / ( / /|_|_|\ |(_))     \ \/ / /|_|_|\ / /    \ |`-/   
     _| ||| \/ || _||_  |  `(  _)    _| |    (  _)| \_____/ |  /       \o /| \_____/ | \____/ |_/    
  ,-'   |||    ||(_/\_)(.-.__\ \_ ,-'   |    / /  '. `---' .)|\\      _/ / '. `---' .'. `--' ._      
 (_..--'(_/    \_)      `-'   \__(_..--'     )/     `-...-'(/  \)    (_.'    `-...-'   `-..-'(_)     

Thank you for downloaded our smileys!

In order to you to use them properly, please drag both files into the plugin folder of your browser of choice.

Both files are necessary to function. Keep them together.

After that, restart your browser.

               --FunnyMan

 
I don't know enough about computers to dispute anything said here, so I trusted him.
Both files, into opera, fully restarted. Then my laptop started making airplane noises and almost died. I thought it was over for me, for my laptop. All my files could have been kill. 
It took hours to revive my laptop and eventually it worked, but even before it booted up, I knew something was wrong.

All the text in the boot screen was randomly bolded. And when I went to log in, instead of my name, it said FunnyMan's pc. On my desktop, all the icons were replaced with fugly 3D smileys, and all the buttons and thumbnails from my browser were also replaced. The yellow demons stared back at me with gleeful malice.
My computer looked ridiculous, and with all the icons changed around, it was nearly unusable.

I was pissed. I remembered seeing a contact link on the first website, so I tried going back, but when I did. The domain was gone. I tried the other one and all that was left was this fucked up image.

Guys, how do I fix my laptop? Is it over for me??

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